East or West, may the best Indians win

Rahul Dravid & Co have been comprehensively thumped in the one-day series by Brian Lara & Co. Here are five brand-new excuses the Bhaiyyas in Blue might like to trot out for the 1-4 defeat:

5) It wasn't easy playing on the other side of the globe and keeping our concentration up while the country back home was asleep. We thought nobody would notice.

4) There were too many distractions for the boys outside the boundary line and we couldn't pick the right balls to score.

3) It's only if we lose do we learn the value of a win. So we wanted some practice before the World Cup.

2) Our bats got misplaced. The airline sent us Rajyavardhan Rathore's rifle by mistake and they didn't fire. 

1) Greg Chappell told the West Indians that they forgotten how to win. He had also whispered to us that we had forgotten how to lose.