Grandma wants to go on the mother of all yatras

E.R. RAMACHANDRAN writes: My Ajji was after me.

“Ramu. Take me on a tirtha yatra. Everybody is going on one these days.” 

I was taken aback. I recovered quickly and told her: “These days, people are mostly sitting at home and watching TV. Moreover, it’s quite hot to be out in the sun.”

“I have myself watched both Advaniji and Rajnath Singhji on their yatra on TV!”

“Ajji! It’s quite expensive to go on their kind of yatras. Moreover, it would be quite tiring at your age.”

“I don’t understand. Advaniji’s car is air-conditioned. He breaks his yatra at will. If he gets tired in between, he goes by his helicopter, plane or A/C first class!”

Oh! Ajji knows everything. It was a mistake to install UPS in the house. She puts in more hours than Rajdeep Sardesai and Srinivasan Jain put together and does her own 24X7!

“Ajji! In politics their presence is urgently required sometimes. Like, reservation policy, dousing intra-party fires, campaigning, etc. They have to cut short their yatra in such times and resume again.”

“Ramu, how is it they break their yatra in between at will and join the same later. Will any God like it? Apashakuna agalveno?”

“Ajji, this is politics; sab chalta hai. Moreover their yatra is not to achieve some spiritual nirvana or moksha. It’s for specific political agenda and sometimes is undertaken to settle some intra-party rivalry. God can always wait and will wait, till they rejoin.”

“I don’t understand whatever you are saying. Now, if you can’t take me to a yatra, at least request one of them to take me along. Even if they take a break, it won’t matter. I will be there throughout. Aavaga apashakuna agalla!”

Oh! Ajji won’t give up, would she? I wish Mohammed Kaif were as persistent as her!  Looks like no way of getting out of this. I’ve to try harder… 

“Though they are from the same party, they are enemies as far as this yatra is concerned. Ninge hyage helali? They are more like Rama-Ravana, Arjuna-Karna, Vali-Sugreeva. If I ask one, the other will get angry…”

“Saaku Nilso! You won’t take me nor arrange to go with either Advaniji or Rajnath Singhji. You are just giving excuses. Ishtu maadu, sadhya! Buy me a plane ticket and send me to your sister’s place in Germany. There, at least, I can watch Ronaldo, Ronaldhino, Beckham and the World Cup matches peacefully!”