NARAYANAN MURALI KRISHNAN forwards the full and complete lyrics of "Hotel Kerala-Fonia" (copyright: The Yeagles). To be sung to the tune of Hotel California.
***
HOTEL KERALA-FONIA
On the road to Trivandrum
Coconut oil in my hair
Warm smell of avial
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a bright pink tube-light
My tummy rumbled, I felt weak and thin
I had to stop for a bite
There he stood in the doorway
Flicked his mundu in style
And I was thinking to myself
I don't like the look of his sinister smile
Then he lit up a petromax
Muttering "No power today"
More Mallus down the corridor
I thought I heard them say
Welcome to the Hotel Kerala-fonia
Such a lousy place,
Such a lousy place (background)
Such a sad disgrace,
Plenty of bugs at the Hotel Kerala-fonia
Any time of year
Any time of year (background)
It's infested here
It's infested here
His finger's stuck up his nostril
He's got a big, thick mustache
He makes an ugly, ugly noise
But that's just his laugh
Buxom girls clad in pavada
Eating banana chips
Some roll their eyes, and
Some roll their hips
I said to the manager
My room's full of mice
He said,
Don't worry, saar, I sending you
meen karri, brandy and ice
And still those voices were crying from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them pray
Save us from the Hotel Kerala-fonia
Such a lousy place,
Such a lousy place (background)
Such a sad disgrace
Trying to live at the Hotel Kerala-fonia
It is no surprise
It is no surprise (background)
That it swarms with flies
The blind man was pouring
Stale sambar on rice
And he said
We are all just actors here
In Silk Smitha-disguise
And in the dining chamber
We gathered for the feast
We stab it with our steely knives
But we just can't cut that beef
Last thing I remember
I was writhing on the floor
That cockroach in my appam-stew was the culprit,
I am sure
Relax, said the watchman
This enema will make you well
And his friends laughed as they held me down
God's Own Country? Oh, Hell!
LOL.
Cool.
Reminds me of Sambhar of ’69
I read the same one in kannada version titled Hotel Kalasipalyam…some 5 years back..
Looks like some one has done a cut paste job of it…
yeah me too andy
KP, you have no business to make fun of others when MYSORE guys are known as mama’s boys not ready to move out of their home for anything. The song is in real bad taste, believe me. Do not bring down the ratings of churumuri, or you just want some hits?
The person who has ‘experienced’ the above was may be in influence of heroine!
HELL WITH YOU, BASTARD NARAYAN MURALI KRISHNA!!
Good stuff…. channagide ri….
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Bombat Maaja banthu…
Nanna Mallu friends get forward maadtheeni
Yaakle Subjectu…baayodhange maathadthya..Kuvempu yaakla thandhe madhyakke….. LUNGI Udhrisbittenu USAAR.
Le Kannada naadige bandhu KAAAKAAA annkondu Kaaka angadi Open maadbittu ..nammatranae Kaage thara aadtheera…
aLLennae(Castor oil) Kudisbityeenu USAAR ..
zimmmppply jaaga khaali maadu…sumne PROOOBLEM maadkobyaada
amele OOOOil Kudisbityeenu .
(KP: you can delete above comments )
Where is DG..we miss his comments in this situation
I agree with subject.
What difference betveen Krishna Prasad’s baby churumuri and TOI (Taimes af Indiya)??? I wondere..
KP (krishna prasad) needs some fillers to make it 200000 hits. All the breast KP. keep posting funny, offending postings. Time to make money. yar. when r u going for sponsor shippies?
Hey KP , Prakasa all other writers : classmatasu? No regardasu for other OBCs?!! Kalla chumuri!!
Hi Prakash,
You are the only guy keeping up the promise churumuri made..swalpa sihi…swalpa spicy…keep it up. you only are following the mysore kannada.
but by any chance have u gone beyond Nanjangud, if not Trivandrum. just as great ‘subject’ said!! you are capable of gulping down cheap liquor, staying awake and making fun of others. dont you understand kannada people like you n me are in an Identity crisis. we have noone…. cry…cry…cry……
I can sense……………KP, you r Prakash ……….prakash is u……….right????
We did not write it
NARAYANAN MURALI KRISHNAN wrote it.
he must be a mallu ..curse him
All my mallu friends enjoyed ,I am not sure what is so offending
Kulla,Subject ,Kiran all the three same person is just spamming
Tell me Dheerendra, what is the difference between TOI and Churumuri if it needs such columns which is nothing but racist. If so, then have guts to recieve critisism as well. You are not coming to the issue and trying to prove my 'multiple personalities'. clean up churumuri.
why no comments on Andy? who's pointed out it's a parody and nothing original?
and if you enjoy calling your own neighbour land as ‘a lousy place’ nothing could stop you. When I tell my friends in North East that Karnataka has a flag of its own and there was a scuffle a few years ago on Aug 15th about hoisting Indian flags, they all feel Kashmir is a better place.
Now let’s (let me) not drift to other unrelated subjects. There is much more to talk. Let’s understand and agree that the ‘poem’ was a creation of a representative of lakhs of kannadigas with misplaced identity (identity crisis). The churumuri columns have spoken enough on this.
Surely, we are old enough to have a sense of humour? Surely, we are mature enough to debate issues without getting personal? For a website that only recently asked if "Kannadigas are a bogus, bullshitting lot", Churumuri needs no lectures on political correctness from any Tom, Dick or Hariharan. (BTW, that's a joke in case you don't get it.)
Our offended Malayalee brethren may like to see this piece in Outlook magazine on God’s Own Country:
http://www.outlookindia.com/full.asp?fodname=20040712&fname=Kerala&sid=1
And a critique of that piece here:
http://www.dancewithshadows.com/gods_own_country.asp
This mail was lying in my in-box for months. Now’s a good time to read it again.
Name the wonly part of the werld where Malayalis don’t werk hard?
* Kerala ..
Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
* Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying
the lungi.
Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
* To go to Thoobai, to meet his ungle in the Gelff.
Why do Malayali’s go to the Gelff?
* To yearn menney.
What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
* He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.
What is a Malayali management graduate called?
* Yem Bee Yay.
Why did his wife divorce him?
* Because he was louwing another woman.
Who found out that?
* His andy.
What does a Malayali do when he goes to America?
* He changes his name from “Karunakaran” to Kevin Curren.
What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
* An Oto.
Who is Malayali’s fyamous yeactor end yaectress?
* Moghan lal, Mammooti, Geedha, Revadhi, Zilgsmidha end Ambiga.
How does a Malayali say MPEG ?
* MBEG
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:
Please don’t delete this after reading, You should atleast send this
mail to:
10 Malayalis & you will receive cokknut oil,
20 Malayalis and you will receive bennena chips,
40 Malayalis you will receive appams,
100 Malayalis and you will get free land near the rice field behind the
lungi factory with additional incentive of a whole month’s supply of
cokknut oil and bennena chips free
wow This is quite a good one . God will descend from his country to punish us
wearing a Lungi .
yendha GURUVAYOORAPPA……:))
I agree with KP… we need a sense of humor… getting too serious here.
I don’t think Churumuri and TOI are the same just because it carried this “song”. The day we have a “Churumuri Page 3”, then we can call TOI and Churumuri the same.
Signing off with a PJ…
Why did the Malayali cross the street?
Simbly
I agree with Kiran.
‘Sense of humor’ is kind of trick word.
If someone is making fun of me or people of my state, may be I will not find it humorous either.
Every Indian has his/her native language influence when they speak English. Unless this is in response to some other humour on Mysore / Karnataka, I dont think it is right to do these kind of things.
This is just my opinion…
KP – I am a pure blood Kannadiga. However those comments on Mallu’s – is purely racist. I was enjoying your blog so far – but certainly these kind of comments are no good. Your blog is widely read. Please don’t lose readership by resorting to these kinda things. Kannadigas are nice people – so let that be. Don’t tarninsh the image. Please!!!
Hi KP. I’m neither a Kannadiga nor a Malayalee but a Konkani who has spent time in Kerala, Tamil Nadu and North India evenly before ending up in cool Mysore. I’ve heard rude and ‘humourous’ comments made by Keralites against Tamilians and Konkanis, I’ve heard Tamilians fuming against Kannadigas (thanks to Kaveri). And through out North India I’ve seen them terming Madrasis including Kannadigas as crooks (though we hold the view vice versa)
But in the name of humor carrying racist columns can’t be justified at all. People get noticed when they get more and more enterprising. And I think that’s the case with Malayalees (the same status Shettys hold in Mumbai). As a result lets agree they have a better economy. (I have also seen a Malayalee vomiting seeing a brown haired Gowda eating his Ragi Mudde. He thought he’s feasting on crap.)
A simple song – offending for some, hilarious for others- has generated so many responses. I think more than your columns, the comments column is getting better views.
the world is getting more and more intolerant. So my simple advice is either start a Page 3 version or keep churumuri clean.
Or would you publish a blasphemy joke on Christians and Muslims (and maybe Hindus also) if I send one. Anyhow we all have sense of humor, don’t we?
It is ridiculous why people can’t take a joke as a joke. How many Sardarji and Gujju jokes do the rounds. Ands some of them (jokes) are really very mean towards those guys. And you will see that they don’t get offended. And whoever has protested here against a joke like HOTEL KERALFONIA might have also had a good laugh at some very insulting and mean Sardarji and Gujju jokes. Why didn’t they try ‘banning’ such jokes? Or doing the BODHANE that they are doing here?
All said and done, THIS IS JUST A JOKE YAAR. And no ‘Mall’, Provision Store or ‘Pettige Angadi’ sells this item called SENSE OF HUMOUR. You must cultivate it for your own well being.
MalayaLee………
****************************
Namma mane pakka maLayaLee
avana hendathi thumba GayaLee
katt thane colour colour Lungee
wata wata maathadthaane padagaLa nungee
bijiness madakke yilige barthaane
yidhkade 20 jana maLayaLene serasthane
‘yendha guruvayoorappa’ anthane
padhya Odhi kekkarskondu nodthane
I have to really appreciate NARAYANAN MURALI KRISHNAN. That was one excellent song I heard some time back. As a 101% MALLU myself I can associate myself with that song and laugh like anything!
Great sense of humour buddy !!!!
Now I really need to find that “Sampar of 69” lyrics – I’m already cracking up just thinking about it….
:)
Awesome man..awesome lyrics
dear all,
We all are INDIAN’s . don’t give any comments on any state or language. requesting you gentlemen first be a INDIAN. if you want to save your state, first fight for Nation.