E.R. RAMACHANDRAN writes: I saw The Ace Political Expert (APE) trying to hoist the National Tricolour in honour of the shaheeds of Mumbai and Srinagar who have given their lives again and again. As we saluted the flag, I asked the APE whether we would win the war against terror. ‘A big no’, said the APE, because of the following reasons:
1. We should ask Pak to hand over Dawood Ibrahim and Tiger Memon before we clear our throat even to talk to Pakistan.
2. We have been parading Abu Salem as if he is a state dignitary all over the country showing him the tourist spots, instead of quickly disposing his case and arranging quick retribution.
3. We have been taking Monica Bedi, Salem’s girl friend, around the country as if she is a model giving interviews to TV channels and media.
4. We take pride in photographing ‘Terrorist Training Centres’ in Pak/ POK through our ISRO satellites and show them in Indian newsreels and national networks, instead of shooting them down, because that is the only way of preventing Mumbai / IISC / Nagpur / Parliament attacks.
5. We bring our ‘Sophisticated Weaponry which can reduce enemy to ashes’ according to Borun Haldar and Komal G. B. Singh every year during Republic Parade and take those weapons to barracks to be kept under moth balls to bring them again the following Republic Day Parade for some more gallantry and commentary.
6. Ours is probably the only nation, which should take pride in the fact that its then external affairs minister actually chaperoned terrorists in his plane and took them to safety. He and the country could get a first of its kind award and enter the Guiness Book Of Records!
7. Even before investigation is underway we have idiotic politicians ‘jumping’ to save suspect organizations for fear of their ‘Vote Banks’. You won’t find a better traitor in history!
8. The more politicians hail spirit of people to raise from the ashes, you can be sure they are in collusion with terrorists either in abetting the crime or giving them a clean chit.
9. Don’t again ask ‘Big Sam’ to define a ‘terrorist’. Have your own definition. Follow your own instincts. Big Sam has his own agenda and we don’t have to follow the line drawn by him every time.
10. The country should decide ‘Enough is Enough’ and take steps both against ‘Internal’ and ‘External’ agents whoever they might be. It should not be too difficult to identify and hunt them down. Don’t be a sissy.