Mayazhi Lampard sends us a set of killer quotes to illustrate the cut-throat sledging that goes on between Australians and Englishmen, and asks a very cryptic question:Today’s cricketers may be able to walk the walk, but can they talk the talk?
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1 Mark Waugh to Jimmy Ormond on his Test debut, 2001: “Mate, what are you doing out here? There’s no way you’re good enough to play for England.” Ormond: “Maybe not, but at least I’m the best player in my own family.”
2 Merv Hughes to Graeme Hick et al: “Mate, if you just turn the bat over you’ll find the instructions on the other side.”
3 Hughes again: “Does your husband play cricket as well?”
4 Mike Atherton on Merv Hughes: “I couldn’t work out what he was saying, except that every sledge ended with ‘arsewipe’.”
5 Dennis Lillee to Mike Gatting, 1994: “Hell, Gatt, move out of the way. I can’t see the stumps.”
6 Derek Randall to Lillee, after taking a glancing blow to the head: “No good hitting me there, mate, nothing to damage.”
7 Ian Healy, placing a fielder yards away at cover when Nasser Hussain was batting: “Let’s have you right under Nasser’s nose.”
8 Tony Greig, England’s South African-born captain, to the young David Hookes, 1977: “When are your balls going to drop, Sonny?” Hookes: “I don’t know, but at least I’m playing cricket for my own country.” Hookes hit Greig for four consecutive fours.
9 Rod Marsh, late seventies: “How’s your wife and my kids?” Ian Botham: “The wife’s fine – the kids are retarded.”
10 Bill Woodfull, Australia’s captain in the Bodyline series of 1932-33, responding to Douglas Jardine‘s complaint that a slip fielder had sworn at him: “All right, which one of you bastards called this bastard a bastard?”
It makes you wonder about some of today’s players. They may be able to walk the walk, but can they talk the talk?
And here is what the crowd used to chant in the 70s:
Ashes to ashes,
Dust to dust,
If Lillee don’t get you,
Thommo will!
When Sunny Gavaskar switched over to playing left hand against Raghuram Bhat,( as allowed in the rules and Sunny had informed the umpires too), the crowd in Bangalore thought he was ‘insulting’ Karnataka and wanted to rish to the field and lynch him. But some people in the crowd advised restraint by saying ‘After all he is Brother-in -law of Karnataka’!
Looks like whoever sent this forgot to mention Tim de Lisle on Cricinfo as the original source of these quotes.
In the same match that Erram talked about (Bombay vs Karnataka) Patel is said to have remarked to Gavaskar who got out on 40 “Only 300 runs less!”. Sunny Gavaskar had scored 340 runs against Bengal in the previous Ranji match.
How can one forget Chandra’s appeal for bowled in New Zealand during the 1976 tour? Even Chandrashekhar, normally a mild mannered player was quite affected by the umpiring in NZ during that season. When the umpire said to him that the player was bowled, Chandra replied “I know he is bowled but is he out?”
The present cricketers sure can. Just that it hasn’t been publicized by the players.
Talking about the Ashes, how can you leave behind Indo-Pak duels?
The most famous one being between Sehwag and Akhtar.
Akhtar was bowling some “smell the leather” balls which had Sehwag in all sorts of trouble.
Akhtar repeatedly asked Sehwag,”why don’t you hook me?”.
After the seventeenth time(exaggerated) Viru replied, “Are you bowling or begging?”