How many Panjus does it take to fix a bulb?

Tangdi firmly in cheek, KANCHAN KAUR asks: How many Panjus does it take to fix a light bulb?

Answer: 308 (to say nothing of the dog)

Analysis: 6 family members to frantically organise the celebrations

15 close friends to get drunk in celebration

15 dads of drunk friends to get drunk in celebration

30 cousins and their family (CFOs, lawyers etc) to look their best and go on nostalgia trip

10 cousins and their family from vilayat to roam around with handycams and digicams and go on nostalgia trip

3 dudes to man the bar

15 dudes to roam around serving tangdi kabab, paneer tikka etc

15 more dudes to man the buffet table and carefully label each dish

20 cooks

3 DJ and sidekicks

20 members of mahboob band (Yeh desh hai veer javanon ka specialists)

3 dholak walas (Baari barsi specialists)

20 dudes to carry the bright electric lanterns

30 dudes to dart at pieces of change thrown around by revelers

100 random guests (neighbours, business acquaintances, other well-dressed good looking people who everybody imagines is known to somebody else)

1 to actually fix the bulb (accompanied by horse, horse owner and 2 children of the family)

1 petrified labrador that stays under the bed through the occasion

*Note for CFOs/lawyers: numbers are guesstimates and not to be used for audit purposes