MIDWEEK MASALA: Lisa Ray and the CIA agents

Esquire has a monthly feature titled “Funny Joke from a Beautiful Woman”, with the caveat that magazine cannot guarantee that the joke will be funny to everyone. This is the joke Lisa Ray, the half-Indian, half-Polish model-turned-actress of the Oscar nominated film Water, told the best magazine in the world.


The CIA is interviewing three potential agents—two men and a woman. For the final test, they bring one of the male candidates to a door and hand him a gun.

“We must know that you will follow instructions, no matter what,” says the interviewer. “Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her.”

“You can’t be serious,” the man says. “I could never shoot my wife.”

Then you’re not the right man for the job,” says the interviewer.

The second man is given the same instructions. Five minutes later, he emerges with tears in his eyes and says, “I can’t.”

Finally, the woman is given the test, but with her husband. She takes the gun and enters the room. Shots are heard, then screaming, crashing, and banging.

After a few minutes, she comes out and wipes the sweat from her brow. “You didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks,” she says. “I had to beat him to death with the chair.”

Not funny enough? Try this: The Commander and his donkey