Look, what’s happening at Murthy Angadi #8

Meanwhile, at the Sikkapatte Important Company of Karnataka, also known as Murthy Angadi, Sowcar-ru‘s main trip in life these days—to lecture the world on how everything in life, including and beyond the country, can be run like Murthy Angadi—is placing sikkapatte pressure on his chelas, chamchas, and cheddi dosts.

It’s one thing for sowcar-ru to kuyyi the proverbial piteel in his post-1993 American accent on values and ethos and standards in the air-conditioned comfort of the television studios. But it’s quite another to implement it on the ground, somewhere between Northwest Hebbal and Southwest Hootagalli.

In the vast food court that has sprung up to serve the girakis who throng Murthy Angadi, there are a dozen vendors, selling everything from juices, ice-creams, coffee, and pizzas, to South Indian, Punjabi, Andhra and Mughlai meals. And some of them are paying a very high price for the high-falutin’ standards.

If a vendor is found serving food without gloves, the Angadi chappies slap an on-the-spot fine of Rs 1,000. No shoes? Rs 1,500. No apron? Rs 5,000. So much so that one vendor paid up as much as Rs 40,000 in fines last month. The only consolation is a voucher that comes in the name of the foundation run by sowcaru-ru‘s hendoru.

No one knows on what basis the fines are fixed, and the standard answer to all queries is, “Ask MD 3.14159.” Only one vendor has been spared the ad-hoc fines, but that’s because he enjoys Prince Charles‘ patronage.

Recently, one vendor’s staff was found serving without an apron. A fine of Rs 5,000 was promptly lagao-ed. Except that the apron had been misplaced by the in-house laundry. Matlab, it was the Angadi at fault. Only a stern refusal by the vendor to not pay a fine for a goofup that she wasn’t reponsible convinced the chappies to relent.

Otherwise, the vendors live in fear of the midnight knock.

Disclaimer: All hendors and vendors mentioned in Murthy Angadi are the figment of a colourful imagination. Any resemblance to characters alive or dead or somewhere in between is entirely coincidental and unintentional to the extent that libel laws permit. (3.14159, of course, is the value of Pi, and has been for a couple of thousand years, if not more.)