A suitable ‘punishment’ for Narayana Murthy

E.R. RAMACHANDRAN writes, tongue firmly in cheek: The brouhaha over N.R. Narayana Murthy‘s stand on the National Anthem rightly created a flutter all over the country, with Murthy eventually tendering an apology. But the echo is still being heard in the corridors of power in Bangalore.

Since these things are decided in Vidhana Soudha, I went and met the All-Party Spokesperson who was very courteous despite all the hungama going around. She looked all harried and haggard.

“What are you going to do with Mr. Murthy now that he has apologized?”

“He has apologized, but there is so much to be done, Sir. One of our leaders wants him to be deported where nobody wants him. I am on the line from yesterday. Wherever I phone, everybody seems to want him. It’s going to be difficult to send him off to nowhere.”

“You couldn’t get any place?”

“To teach Mr. Murthy a lesson which he will not forget easily, another leader wanted that Mr. Murthy be sent to a place where there is no water …. I was thinking of a planet near earth—HD 209458b. Even ISRO was ready to help us out. But then US Scientists have spoiled it all. They have just found there is water in that planet! If you ask me, as a punishment, there is no place better than Bangalore, as you get water only once in three days. I get up at four in the morning to store two buckets of water before I come for work. Probably we will let him stay here. This will be the best punishment!”

“Any other suggestion from our MLAs?”

“One of them wanted a CBI enquiry. I tried to call the agency. Somebody bluntly told me they have many cases already lined up like the Bellary scam, NICE scam, assets disproportionate to income etc for which they are still awaiting clearance. Obviously they just can’t take up this work.”

“I sympathize with you. But can’t you line up any other punishment?”

“I have to, sir. Otherwise I will lose my job. You seem to understand my problem better. I myself thought we should put some more pot holes in the IT Corridor before monsoon sets in. This will teach him a lesson. The BMC is already doing their bit. But this is punishment, no sir?

“We should ask them to dig it up deeper. Another way is to make the ring road one way and ask them to go round and round till they go nowhere. We are good in making every road a one-way in Bangalore. I have to think something quick. If you get any ideas will you please call and tell me sir? Thank you, sir.”