Nofors, Dumbfors, Looney, Moony and Sorryn

E.R. RAMACHANDRAN writes: I was watching the media coverage of Sanjay Dutt and Salman Khan which looked like an overdose of Perry Mason and Sherlock Holmes stories. The story was fascinating with one coming out and the other may be about to go in. It was all getting mixed up, as I dozed off…

The Indian Bureau of Investiagation (IBI) lawyer Nofors landed in Chile wearing a Mac in the murky weather. It was a long flight, his body weary to the bones due to lack of sleep. But what the hell, he was there to nab the most wanted man and it is well worth the effort. Nofors looked at his deputy Dumbfors who had packed all the papers required for the job.

Next morning before they drove to the Chilean High Court, Nofors enquired whether all the papers were in order. The deputy held out a small black attaché case. Everything is in there. While personally handing over the documents at the Airport, the IBI chief told Dumbfors not to mess up the case once again and get the Italian this time.

As the court was called to order, the judge asked the honorable Indian attorneys to present all the documents including the bond. Nofors motioned Dumbfors to take them out. Dumbfors opened the attaché case and handed over the documents to the Court Assistant to be passed on to the Chief Justice.

As he glanced at the papers, the CJ knit his eye brows shook his head and asked the Assistant to read out the contents. Since the Assistant had not seen anything like that before, the CJ asked the senior attorney if he could make some sense of what was written.

When Nofors looked at it, he found everything in Hindi. Naturally, Delhi had goofed yet again. They do it every time without fail. “I have to translate the whole damn thing to English. Let me start. What’s this? They are talking of murder. The papers are relating to Sorryn. Who is this chap, Sorryn? Why don’t we have the right papers for extradition of the Italian?”

As he was struggling to make sense of the whole situation, the CJ adjourned the court asking them to file the translated papers in the afternoon.

Meanwhile in a session’s court in Jharkhnad, IBI lawyers Looney and Moony were ready to file their investigation papers on Bambu Sorryn. Here too, Moony, the deputy, had received the papers from the Chief himself, as he was just getting in to his car to go to the court. They handed over the papers to the judge.

The judge after scanning the papers asked them why they can’t write in simple English. Papers back to court Assistant. Luckily, the court Assistant who was learning foreign language in his spare time identified the language as Spanish and said it was addressed to the Chief Justice of High Court in Chile and it related to some extradition case and not to the murder case which this court was seized with.

Here too, the judge adjourned the court with a warning to the lawyers to come back with right papers.

In the evening there were calls from the IBI chief to his lawyers in Chile and Jharkhand. He was mad at his lawyers and banged the table hard when informed the IBI had lost and the courts had thrown out the cases!

The TV remote had fallen off my lap.

I saw on TV Salman was on his way to Jodhpur for surrendering to the court. I marveled at the remarkable similarity between reality and my dream!