SWAROOP DEV forwards a much-forwarded forward on how to catch a lion.
The Newton method: Let, the lion catch you. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught lion.
The Einstein method: Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.
The software engineer method: Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that it is a lion. If anyone comes back with “issues”, say that you will upgrade it to lion.
The Indian police method: Catch any animal and interrogate it and torture it to accept that it is a lion .
The Rajnikanth method: Keep warning the lion that you may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.
The Jayalalitha method: Send police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2am and kill it while it’s sleeping.
The Maniratnam method: Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted. Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.
The Karan Johar method: Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion. First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the second lioness. But second lioness loves both lions. Now send a third lioness into the forest. You don’t understand, right? Read this after 15 years, you still won’t.
The Yash Chopra method: Take the lion to Australia or US and kill it in a good scenic location.
The Govinda method: Dance continuously before the lion for 5 or 6 days.
The Menaka Gandhi method: Save the lion from danger and feed him with vegetables continuously.
The George Bush method: Link the lion with Osama bin Laden and then shoot him.
The Ravi Shastri method: Ask the lion to bowl at you. You bat for 200 balls and score one run. The lion gets tired and surrenders.