Thank God, somebody’s bringing Her to book

Sick and tired of the courts being open to all manner of people to file all manner of frivolous cases, an American senator has sued—wait for it—God.

Ernie Chambers of Nebraska has filed a lawsuit seeking a permanent injunction ordering God to cease certain harmful activities and the making of terroristic threats.

“The lawsuit admits God goes by all sorts of alias, names, titles and designations and it also recognizes the fact that the defendant is “Omnipresent”. In the lawsuit Chambers says he’s tried to contact God numerous times, “Plaintiff, despite reasonable efforts to effectuate personal service upon Defendant (“Come out, come out, wherever you are”) has been unable to do so.”

“It says being Omniscient, the plaintiff assumes God will have actual knowledge of the action.The lawsuit accuses God “of making and continuing to make terroristic threats of grave harm to innumerable persons, including constituents of Plaintiff who Plaintiff has the duty to represent.”

“It says God has caused, “fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects, and the like.”

“The suit also says God has caused, “calamitous catastrophes resulting in the wide-spread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants including innocent babes, infants, children, the aged and infirm without mercy or distinction.”

“Chambers also says God “has manifested neither compassion nor remorse, proclaiming that Defendant “will laugh” when calamity comes. Chambers asks for the court to grant him a summary judgement. He says as an alternative, he wants the judge to set a date for a hearing as “expeditiously” as possible and enter a permanent injunction enjoining God from engaging in the types of deleterious actions and the making of terroristic threats described in the lawsuit.

“The suit also requests that the court given the “peculiar circumstances” of this case waive personal service.”

Surely, She is accountable for Her “deficiency of service”? Surely, She can argue Her case? Surely, She has lots of good dead lawyers around? Surely, She won’t seek repeated adjournments?