‘I have a dream. Actually, I have a nightmare’

E.R. RAMACHANDRAN writes: It was a scene fit for the Gods—er, for Lenin and Mao. The Left had swept the polls and got an absolute majority. That too, while contesting all alone without leaning on anybody’s support.

Chairman Karat, wearing a Mao tunic, sporting a new hairstyle with a parting in the middle, and grey hair spread sideways reciprocated the cheers from lakhs of party cadre at Ram lila Grounds by clapping himself—a typical Russian and Chinese style. In between he asked the vice chairman—er, Brinda Karat—to change her bindi from black to red.

Along with comrades Yechury, Bardhan and Raja, they were the ‘New Gang of V’ and sported a V sign wherever they went.

The Cabinet meeting was held in the basement of South Block. It started with Chairman Karat reading a line from his ‘Red Book’. He read calmly given the momentous and epoch making event.

“We will isolate USA from all corners of the world and free Americans from the tyranny of capitalism.”

He accepted the claps from his comrades and looked pleased when he saw the new two-rupee coin-size bindi in red on Brinda’s forehead. He got into business straightaway.

“What’s the news all around?” he asked comrade Yechury.

“All Congress leaders have gone underground. The Prime Minister was last seen burning the ‘Indo-US Nuclear Treaty’ file, before he took off towards Ludhiana on a tractor. Madam Sonia Gandhi and Rahul took a late night flight to Argentina where they will be met by Mr. Quatrochchi and the Italian foreign minister.”

The Chairman was pleased and enquired comrade Bardhan about the BJP.

“Mr. Chairman, the news I have is, the port authority in New York refused to allow Vajpayeeji, Advaniji and Joshiji although they had valid visas and tickets. This was done at the specific orders of Secretary of State Ms. Rice, because BJP had opposed the nuclear treaty on a different ground than ours. I understand they have been given political asylum in Canada.”

“What about industry?” the Chairman asked comrade Raja.

“They have already started behaving well .The Sensex has crashed to low BP figures like 80/40. Nobody is able to get the pulse of the picture. The Ambani brothers have discarded their suits and have reported to duty wearing the factory uniform like their workers. Narayana Murthy and Premji have voluntarily given back all their lands and have declared that from now on they will travel in their office buses for work and use autorickshaws for their personal work. Mallya and Lakshmi Mittal want you to take over their concerns all over the world.”

“Wonderful! What about control of terror?” he asked the vice chairperson, er comrade Brinda.

“We are bringing out an ordinance called LOTA—Leftists Order for Terror Alienation. Since there is no opposition, it is as good as passed.”

“Any other matter that would need my immediate attention?” asked the chairman.

“Yes, Sir. The Ganguly affair is likely to come up again. We understand the Chairman of selectors is now harassing Ganguly. You know what happened to Dravid.”

The Chairman was quick to get to the point.

“We are not concerned with Dravid. Ask Vengsarkar to make Sourav the captain for all forms of cricket immediately, if he wants to continue as chairman of selectors. I want to make Kolkotha the capital again. Make all arrangements for that. One more thing, lest I forget. Send somebody to the US Ambassador’s house to help him pack his bags. He is leaving India tonight. Before coming here, I blocked tickets for him and his family.”

As the workers were shifting the cupboards containing the ‘Indo-U.S Nuclear deal’ papers, one of them slipped and the almirah came crashing down.

When I woke up, I had fallen on the ground from my chair. I had dozed off while watching Karat giving a clean chit to the prime minister and the UPA chairperson on TV.

I still can’t figure out whether it was a dream or nightmare.