ALOK PRASANNA writes from Bangalore: I watched Om Shanti Om (OSO) over the weekend, with my parents. It was a nice “family movie” in the sense that my dad and mom got all the jokes in the first-half and I got all the jokes in the second-half.
Two halves make one, right? Plus, it is Bollywood making fun of Bollywood. How can that not be funny, right?
For a start, most of the jokes are of the MTV standard, and they probably used the same lookalikes as well. Anyone who has watched television in the last decade will not find anything new. I wouldn’t have minded that either, but for the underlying sinister theme of this movie.
This movie is entirely and totally about Bollywood. Ignore the sham of a storyline which is a poorly assembled montage of other Bollywood movies and Shakespeare’s Hamlet. There’s not much of a story to justify the two-and-a-half hour long run time, so dear old Farah Khan decides to pad the movie with “in-jokes” about Bollywood and really, really long songs, also about Bollywood.
Unfortunately, all the “jokes” are all very “vegetarian” (Shah Rukh Khan isn’t even allowed to say “Fuck!”) and ultimately Farah Khan wants you to believe that Bollywood is really a big happy family(literally!) with a few bad eggs that poor set construction will take care of.
I mean these are really horrible sets that catch fire for little reason, fall to pieces at the slightest touch and generally come with very, very bad wiring and plumbing. If the ‘story’ didn’t demand that this be attributed to a “ghost” (Rationalist Societies take note), it would have made a very compelling “Safety On The Workplace” video.
That, of course, does not take away from the insidious nature of the movie’s underlying theme. What Farah Khan seems to be telling us is this:
# Nothing bad ever happens to anybody in Bollywood (apart from losing the Filmfare awards)
# If anything bad happens, it is because of a single rotten egg (who is promptly dispatched to “America” or killed, depending on the soundness of set construction)
# All your dreams come true in Bollywood and everybody is happy (without having had to consume narcotropic and/or psychotropic substances first)
Let’s take this theme apart carefully, shall we?
Anybody who has not been in a coma for the last 20 years will have some knowledge of the following that’s been happening in Bollywood, not necessarily in the same order:
a) Mafia links
b) Substance abuse (alcohol, drugs, you-name-it, you-have-it)
c) Marital infidelity
d) Exploitation of young women
This list is not exhaustive, and I’m sure there are others who can add to this, but Farah Khan, with all the intimate knowledge of a total insider in Bollywood decides to devote exactly 0 minutes dealing with any of these.
It’s not as if no one has dealt with these issues in a movie. The King of Bollywood, Bollywood Calling, Page 3 and even Mahesh Bhatt’s Woh Lamhe deal with these issues to some extent, taking well aimed pot shots at the system and its players.
It’s not for lack of material. Anyone with half a brain could have taken stinging pot shots at Amitabh Bachchan and Mithun Chakraborty (and of late, SRK also) acting with girls less than half their age. Or how Dharmendra dumped his wife for Hema Malini, or Salman Khan’s uncontrollably dangerous behaviour, or Fardeen’s mysterious white powder, or the infamous Shakti Kapoor casting couch… The material is endless.
Not for Farah Khan though. As far as these are concerned, they happen in big bad Hollywood. All of one actor is shown smoking, which brings me to my next point.
The villain of the piece, played by Arjun Rampal (who despite the time-frame of the movie does not get a single wrinkle, unlike Shah Rukh Khan who just can’t get rid of his wrinkles no matter his age) is a stereotypical baddy who sleeps with the starlets, smokes a lot, puts career over love, kills people for movies, etc.
We are supposed to believe that he is the one bad egg of the lot, that he is the exception and not part of the system itself. If this movie had anything to do with government or a corporation, it would have been dismissed as pure propaganda. The only other time we see an alcohol problem mentioned, it is shown as a feature of “junior artistes”; which brings me to my next part.
It is not bad enough that she lets the “Stars” off with fairly mild pokes (more like a nudge and a wink) at their behaviour, but Farah Khan chooses to be brutal when it comes to “junior artistes”. There’s another thing about this term. In most other fields, seniority depends on the experience on has had in field. In Bollywood, a 40-year-old with 100 movies can be a “junior artiste”, while Ranbir Raj Kapoor (who ironically enough, is being played by Shah Rukh Khan in the second half) is a “senior artiste” in his first movie?
The picture we get is that all “junior artistes” are desperate, melodramatic hams who are stupid and believing. The most disgusting scene in the movie is the audition. It also beautifully highlights the venomous nature of Bollywood.
Women who can act a bit are rejected totally in favour of a really hot, talentless model. Yet, we are supposed to point and laugh at those women who get cruelly rejected and feel all excited by this spoilt brat who just came to ogle at Shah Rukh Khan, sorry Om Kapoor.
Bad enough that these women, whose very livelihood depends on a small role somewhere, get treated like shit by the people in the movie, but we are also supposed to laugh at their stupidity in believing that they can be “stars”.
Hang on a minute. Isn’t that supposed to be what Bollywood is about? Isn’t it about building this dream that anyone can make it big in Bollywood, can have the glamour, glitz and gals/guys( three Gs of Bollywood) if they are talented enough?
We know otherwise. This deceitful aspect of Bollywood, which could have been a great target for subversive humour in this movie, is neatly glossed over. To add injury to the insult (yes you read it right), it is also done with a smug sense of superiority.
What Farah Khan is in fact telling us in this movie is that the only way to do well in Bollywood is to be born to a Bollywood star or be really, really close friends with one (obviously there are exceptions, but that only proves the rule). If not, you can content yourself with being a “junior artiste” for the rest of your life.
Goofy, wimpy, “Junior artiste” Om Prakash Makhiija watches helplessly and gets killed while trying to save a starlet, but Om Kapoor, son of the great Rajesh Kapoor (oh wow, how subtle), can act, sing, dance, direct and produce a movie, while summoning a ghost, without breaking a sweat across his finely chiselled abs.
After I watched the movie, and wrote this piece, I thought I was missing something. I went back and read all the reviews in major newspapers and websites. Reviewers everywhere seem so caught up with the half-assed “in-jokes” and mindless trivia tossing in this movie that they seem willing to ignore the total lack of a storyline. Nobody even seems to have any problems with the utterly fake Bollywood presented as “real” in this movie.
It is as if someone made a movie about an engineering college where no one has to study, no one has exams, no one gripes about marks, and no one worries about recruitment, and then called it a “humorous look at college life”!
While it was probably too much to expect a withering satire on Bollywood by Bollywood, this grotesque, propaganda spewing pile of filth was also totally unexpected to say the least. Farah Khan expects us to believe that she is actually laughing with us at them, when in fact she is laughing at us, with them.
CNN-IBN had a poll out recently questioning whether we Indians have a sense of humour or not because Manoj Kumar took offence to his depiction in the movie. If OSO is “humour”, I think we can all afford to take offence.
Alok,
Yeah Man! It is just like the Imran Khan as PM of India piece you wrote, “It is as if someone made a movie about an engineering college where no one has to study, no one has exams, no one gripes about marks, and no one worries about recruitment, and then called it a “humorous look at college life”!”
I hope you will excuse the likes of us now:)
Alok,
Woci kannada illa english picture review barithira buddhi? Yeno ee hindi picture namige ashtu hidsolla…
And since the movie is also a product of the same screwed up system, it should be taken seriously why?
Hindi moviena? yaavaga release agiddu?
gurugale, ‘aa dinagalu’ nodi..swalpa nimma opinion bariri.
Wow. Never knew a Hindi Movie could evoke a 300 page Masters thesis. Good going Alok. You surely are over the top. Crying wolf seems to have become the hallmark of your reports. Whats happening to churumuri?
Good writing Alok. We all just watch a movie (that too hindi movies) and forget about it a day later. I appreciate the effort you have taken to analyze OSO and write the piece. Good observation and I agree with you. Just leave all the logic behind and watch this movie.
Hi alok,
why write about that which is not good? that we do in politics and other issues, no? atleast the good things in life we should celebrate alva? why not write about good movies, say, like, ondanondu kaaladalli.
ever since i have seen that movie, i have become an evangelist for that movie. what a movie!!
great camera (ak bir), sooper sound (bhaskar chandavarkar), well written and well done (Girish Karnad).
cool full-stretch kalari fights,
and it is filled with the most coolest dialogues in an indian movie ever. period. that too the dialogues are the warrior kind – honor talk, bravado talk, strategy talk. and i am not talking about the kind of forced coolness you see in movies like nayagan for example but disarmingly natural talk.
aur daen hELti biDe hinga naDShirthaara manyage enEnaara
*watch some warriors trainings*
yaen mangyaar gati hossaad shuru maaDyaave, *giggle*
hogON baare byaaD namge aur suddi
rest of the women move, one stays earnestly watching.
woman shouts: baare savanti.
savanti disinterested: bande
that introduces disillusionnment of the women folk of the village, who have their own problems, with all the nonsense that the men of the village are upto. it also introduces the fiesty independent girl next door who goes on to play an important role in the politics that ensues.
king is majorly distressed over the the losses suffered due to an ambush attack, discussing losses with his commander, who is assuring him and suggesting fight back strategies…
queen to the commander: saak saak nimm ee jagaLad maathu,
to her husband: neev summnirri…
to a boy nearby: iruga, nee ond haaD heLu, saak ivaradhu
boy: naa olletagiyavva olle
woman: nee idra ninn maga hinge naachkothaana, nee hogu ava haaDli,
man: ‘naa ivaga katti ettlikaara kali andra neevi kathi heLaak hacchteeri’ – that introduces an unprepared son of a warrior.
mind you she shouts backs at the commander and insists that the son sing.
son break into… ondaanondu kaaladaaga aesondu mudavitta
shankar nag as a rootless veerbanTa rocks. very very stylish as a banTa. akshata rao as the fiesty young consort of the heir apparent is wonderful and man does she have an opinion!! she keeps growing in the movie never for once losing her feminity and her high pitch squeals.
but the guy who steals the show is sundar krishna urs as perumaDi the ageing veerbanTa. absolutely amazing! i cannot describe what exactly it is, but i could make out the transition in his character. in the beginning he is this supremely accomplished, been there done that kind of veerbanTa so has this air of coolness about him. towards the end he is veerbanTa who holds grief in heart and somebody with a mission on his mind. sooperbb stuff.
all warrior highly chivalrous. never pick up any other warriors weapons. this is not said explicitly, but you tend to notice.
watch it, buy it.
i want to go to JP Nagara bearing haNNu kaayi and ask a certain somebody how the fuk did he create this samurai clan in KA?
mate, if rajni can turn in a blockbuster year after year and world can bear many dumb english movies, you should be saying world movie industry is a scam :).
Anyways movies like OSO or rajni sell because people want to run away from reality because reality most of the time sucks. So why blame anyone?
what say?
hey alok,
congratulations! you just won the filmfare award for being the most boring, humourless person on planet earth. sheesh!!
What a long review for a lousy bollywood movie. If you want to see a movie that seriously takes a pot shot at Bollywood watch Nagesh Kuknoor’s Bollywood Calling
@ Sanjay
Couldn’t agree with you more, I thought that Bollywood Calling (as also King of Bollywood) is funnier, and more thought provoking that OSO. Its just that no major review seemed to compare these movies before calling OSO “funny”
@keki& GK3S
The thing with Rajni novies is that he is honest about being over the top and doesn’t for one moment try to convince us that he is actually Raj Kumar in disguise. As someone put it, he knows we know he knows, if that makes anything clearer.
OSO is dishonest in that it pretends to take a potshot at Bollywood but actually taking a potshot at the people who believe in everything Bollywood stands for.
@TS, timma
I have been mostly watching older Kannada movies, as I have not summoned the courage to watch a Kannada movie made recently after I came out of a screening of “Aaptamitra”. I thought it summarized everything that was wrong with the Kannada movie industry, then. From the decrepit excuse for a theater I watched it in, to the “inspired” storyline, to the magnitude of loss Kannada filmdom faced with the death of Soundharya, who by the way actually made even “Aaptamitra” infinitesimally watchable.
People have been recommending the newer Kannada movies, but these are the same folks who recommended Aaptamitra to me, so I still retain my doubts.
I’d much rather go watch the fantastic Kannada plays running in Rangashankara on any given day. Never been disappointed by a single one.
but since TS has recommended a good movie, albeit an older one, I’ll make sure I get my hands on it.
@SN
I thought an “over-the-top” movie needed an “over-the-top” critique…
OMG Alok!
>>Let’s take this theme apart carefully, shall we?
Why??
>>We are supposed to believe …
>>Farah Khan expects us to believe
Who said so? don’t believe it.. Where is it mentioned that this is all credible meaningful cinema?
…..and when bollywood brings out credible and really deep movies, how come nobody experiences verbal diarrhea analysing the movie?
It’s only in recent days, that I feel compelled to stop reading some churumuri posts half-way.
Alok,
Please watch ‘A dinagalu’ in the list of new kannada film. ‘My autograph’ somewhat new. Of course, in the list of old movies, I would recommend the following:-
1. premada kanike 2. Bhagyavantharu 3. Nandi 4. Uyyale 5. Sipayi ramu 6. kasturi nivasa 7. eradu kanasu
I think the above list is enough for now. I would be curious to know what you have to say about these movies, of course if you ever to get to watch them.
if you have not been watching kannada movies off late,then u r missing something. mungaaru male , milana , duniya ,arasu etc have been excellent. technically ,content wise,lyrics ,music has been of xlent quality.
Alok,
Take Dr. Ramesh’s advice and watch Kannada films. If you have the time to watch OSO or any other Hindi crap you are better off watching Kannada movies. May be that will draw a series of critical reviews from you?
Is Shah Rukh Khan an Actor ???
After watching Rajanna , Balanna ,Ashwath and Narasimharaju for years
I doubt I would ever consider someone like Shahrukh as an actor.
If you write about Amir’s movie maybe it makes some sense.
However good writing .
oso is great movie you can just sit back relax watch it laugh at it and forget about it , it is no brianer, and does not live impressions on your soul. Final twist in the movie is great of proving bhootas exist
It seems that you are the first person hailing from mys that can write such a long (tortuous?) analysis of a hindi movie..how do u remember all of those names mate? My hunch is that you must have spent your formative years up in the north somewhere..If you have beeen a denizen of mysore all the while, then it doesnt bode well for kannada cinema.
@ Poornima, Dr.
Thanks for the suggestions… right now on my vacation, and I was wondering which movies to watch to fill out the time. I think I’ll add some good old and new Kannada movies to that list, and who knows maybe write another long piece about one of them ;).
@mayya
I am very much from Bangalore, with only a tenuous connection to Mysore through relatives.
..and you are right.. for a Kannadiga who has lived in Bangalore, who prefers Kannada plays to Kannada movies any day, it does not bode well for the future of Kannada cinema…
OTOH, I may just change my mind if Dr. Ramesh’s list convinces me otherwise..
of the new movies cyanide is brilliant.
rangayana raghu and tara rock!
i dont know about the movies but jayanth kaikini has been writing some uber cool lyrics. stuff never heard before.
oops sorry wrong link, that view in that one would disorient you, check this
aargh!!! dgin remixers…
Alok, I watched OSO today. Its a typical bollywood movie & I didn’t find any problem. OSO is inspired by ‘Karz’ (which was remade in Kannada as “Yuga Purusha’) & with some spoof of bollywood itself. I didn’t find any problem.
Why do you feel every movie should be dark & close to reality?
Your plight is like a teetotaller in a bar & commenting that everybody are drinking !!
You have convoluted the story in your review.
Eg: You talk about audition. The audition was to choose somebody who can closely resemble a certain 70s actress. It was not to test anybody acting skills.
Give us a break man.
Nastika,
Dgin hilarious! I could not have done better:)
…”Your plight is like a teetotaller in a bar & commenting that everybody are
drinking !!..”
good job man. don’t listen to the naysayers. express yourself.
great entertainer.
This is the most extensive review of Om Shanti Om I have seen. Good work. Farah Khan sucks!
Completely agree with Nastika and Adi.
These types of films are for fun! Every film does not have to like ‘Bombay Calling’ & ‘Page 3’!
That’s the whole point of masala films. They are to be watched for enjoyment, not to show reality….you might as well step outside the cinema hall and on to the streets to see that…!
Irrelevant review….sorry Alok…
I totally agree- FARAH KHAN IS ONLY A COMMERCIAL DIRECTOR & HER MOVIES, INCLUDING MAIN HOON NA & OM SHANTI OM, HAVE BOTH BEEN TOO OVER-HYPED.
Be sure that the pretenders will always be caught out
she needed this thrashing for sure
Alok,
Let me see, wow…………. 32 comments. I read the blog related to bangalore regularly to know whats happening. Water problems, govt. involvment in reducing the greenery bangalore into a construction jungle. All these gave few or lesser comments, hardly reaching double digits. you should be knowing by now how people respond to the unreality world.
I would like to say one thing…….
The cinema or a movie so called itself is made up of illusion. one out of 100 movies a reality movie appears ( like wednesday) and people start conversing about the reality touch in the movie. The only appretiative substance in English movie is that they bring the movie in a feel good like substance to audience, so that viewers will walkout discussing about the graphics. kannada movies are comfortable completing a movie with a long sword chasing the villian all over bangalore, hindi movie with bullets rolling down the streets and english movie with graphics making you to think is that real.
Cool dude……… i also commented and joined the group of cinema folks….
interesting right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??
hi alok. i liked your review simply because of the effort and time u put into it. i totally understand ur point of view . it is a scam but u know what in our country ppl take it easy nd they don’t like using hteir heads when not reqiured especially when watching bollycrap movies. who expects any sense from farha khan . she’s a dumbass and her bro’s the dumbest ass around. take a chill pill yaar . yaha sab kuch chalta hai. my advice to u wach only hollywood original films. don’t give urself more headache. these ppl and this badass bollycrap industry ain’t never gonna change.