E.R. RAMACHANDRAN writes: The Prime Minister’s ophthalmologist is not only a good eye surgeon but has a hawk-eye for political nuances that matter in the corridors of Delhi. He has the uncanny ability to see and identify his patients’ problems much before it develops on their cornea.
I wanted to know about Prime Minister’s recent eye operation and naturally his eye doctor was the one who could give the correct picture.
“What was the problem with the PM’s eye?” I asked when I met him at his clinic.
“Nothing serious. He came for a removal of cataract. But the irritation in his eye had started couple of months back.”
“Was this complicated?”
“Not really. But it was an irritant none the less. It started a week after HRD minister Arjun Singh went public saying he wanted Rahul Gandhi as the next Prime Minister. Having to see Arjun Singh in each cabinet meeting sitting in the same place, naturally created occular pressure on his right eye and eventually became a stye, which thankfully disappeared when Soniaji warned that sycophancy wouldn’t take people far in her scheme of things!”
“That’s amazing! We know so little of these things.”
“Sometime back, his eyes turned red for no apparent reason. He is basically a mild, affable person given to bland food and a serene temperament. But he developed a hue of red across the cornea. When even his eyelash turned red, it got me worried.”
“How did that happen?”
“It was the leftists who were giving him the red tinge. The endless talks with Leftists on the Indo-US nuclear deal with no agreement in sight were taking the toll of his eyes. He was seeing red everywhere. Never the one to complain over food last 30 years, he started complaining with bhabhiji, asking her why she was preparing sabzis with red palak and pink gobi. He wouldn’t touch sarason da saag as it appeared like deep red chillies. Not only that, he insisted she should use green kaccha tomato instead of red ones for raita. He wanted her to get green rajma!”
“How did you solve the problem?”
“We haven’t solved it completely. He was away from Delhi visiting Bhutan. He went to Karnataka for campaigning. His eyes almost became normal.”
“Any permanent solution for this? He cannot avoid meetings with Comrade Karat and Co.”
“That’s true. Karunanidhi has advised him to wear dark glasses. It seems that has helped Karunanidhi to stay cool even when he meets Jayalalitha. But the problem with that is he doesn’t know when it is morning or night. No doubt it is the best way to escape political reality. I don’t know if PM will accept that solution. But meanwhile a new problem surfaced when he came for removal of cataract.”
“I was moving my index finger from one end to another end and asked him how many fingers I was moving. He didn’t see my fingers at all but thought I was waving my hand.”
“Probably his eye number has increased?”
“I think it is symbolic when he sees a hand moving out of his range of vision. It can only mean Congress with its symbol of hand is going out of Delhi in the next election! What he saw was a sort of ‘bye-bye’ for UPA.”
“That’s a phenomenal observation!”
“Not only that. Gone are the red colours affecting his eyes. Now when he moves his eyes from East to West or North to South his eyes have a saffron layer all over.”
“You don’t mean to say…”
“He is already seeing BJP coming to power in Delhi. That worries me a lot,” ended the ophthalmologist.