Gifts for someone you love & someone you don’t

E.R. RAMACHANDRAN is in an expansive mood.

From the millions he has stashed away in various Swiss banks, after a long and distinguished career with leading transnational corporations in several cities, he has decided to give something to our movers and shakers who have everything.

Here’s a list of what he has sent.

To B.S. Yediyurappa: A mobile homa kunda with built-in vaastu indicator

To H.D. Kumaraswamy: A free homestay package in villages, valid for next 60 months

To H.D. Deve Gowda: A simputor to work out permutations and combinations of probable defections

To Rahul Dravid: The leftover stocks of Royal Challenge

To Kapil Dev and Sunil Gavaskar: A common IPL-ICL Trophy for next year

To Leander Paes and Mahesh Bhupathy: A copy of the hit CD, ‘He likes me, He likes me not

To Shah Rukh Khan: A copy of the unreleased film Harbo, Harbo, Harbo

To Shane Warne: A BCI assignment to coach Indian captains using SMS

To S.M. Krishna: Governorship of unnamed State for 10 years before next election

To the Gujjars in Rajasthan: Arjun Singh as their leader for life

To Rahul Gandhi: Longer learning curve with higher stool

To Manmohan Singh: A fresh oxygen cylinder to get more breathing time

To Barack Obama: The keys to the White House

To Clinton Hillary: The keys to the outhouse

To Clinton Bill: The duplicate Keys

So, what gift would you like to give to whom?