12 questions written in rage for Sri Shivaraj Patil

PRITAM SENGUPTA writes from New Delhi: Another Saturday, another set of serial blasts. Therefore, yet another set of questions for Union home minister Shivaraj Patil:

1) Are you going to make a fresh statement tonight, or are you just going to release photocopies of statements made (or photocopied) for previous blasts that “such incidents will not deter the government from pursuing its policy of dealing with terrorists in a resolute manner”?

2) Do you sleep well at night, especially Saturday nights? Lesser mortals like us count sheep. What do you count, the death tolls under your watch?

3) Does the thought of resignation ever cross your mind? Or is that just a handkerchief in the left pocket of your bandhgala?

4) How strongly do you favour performance-based incentives for Union ministers?

5) What does the God of 10, Janpath think of your performance (so far)?

6) And what does the frizzy-haired godman of Puttaparthi? Does he have no miracle cures for this disease?

7) Have you ever noticed your cabinet colleagues suddenly stop talking when you enter the room?

8) Are you going to single-handedly claim victory for the BJP, or do you propose to wait for the elections?

9) Is it true you are going to oppose Rajya Sabha nominations for leaders who have lost Lok Sabha elections at the next CWC meeting?

10) Sometimes are you just glad you were a Speaker in your previous assignment, because you are clearly not a doer?

11) Among all the portfolios you have held—defence, commerce, science and technology, atomic energy, electronics, space, and ocean development, civil aviation and tourism—which would you say has been the easiest?

12) Are you, by any chance, on a retainer from television channels to keep them busy on weekends?

Photograph: courtesy Mustafa Quraishi/ The Associated Press, digitally altered

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