What’s the kula, gotra, nakshatra of the ‘T’ man?

E.R. RAMACHANDRAN writes: As per Wikipedia, there are 109 definitions of “Terrorism” and the only common characteristic that is agreed upon is that terrorism involves violence and the threat of violence.

Yet, politicians in our country find it difficult to define terrorism.

It is only in India that we have gone so deep in defining terrorism that there could be half-a-dozen post graduate students working on their PhD in any of our famous universities at any given point.

Quite a few studies are probably conducted with funding from the human resource development ministry which thought they must come out with the mother of all definitions for ‘Terror’, so comprehensive it should defeat the purpose of a terrorist and make him sick and tired of trying to master all the definitions and hand himself over to the first commando in the vicinity.

One way of combating terror is to set up a good intelligence network, train and equip your forces, marshal all the resources and try and root it out. This is the no-nonsense approach which most nations adopt.

The other way is make the definition of terror so exhaustive that it should exhaust a studious would-be-terrorist so much that he drops the very idea of becoming one. This method is non-violent and helps particularly when elections are around the corner.

We seem to be following this method.

Most of us know words such as ‘Islamic Terrorism’ came about after the Bali explosion and 9/11 mayhem in New York and attack on our own Parliament. Recently ‘Hindu Terrorism’ was added to the lexicon after it emerged that Hindu organisations might have had a hand in the Malegaon blasts.

So far so good.

But why stop at this, ask our mandarins of Home Ministry. Thank god there is already alleged ‘Christian Terror’ to kill Swamis and ‘Buddhist Terror’. But is that enough? We need to go deeper into the cause of terror to solve the problem.

“Is it fair or just to club all the perpetrators of terror under one religion? What if they are from different sub-sects or sub-castes?” asks our friendly official from the Home Ministry in charge of Intelligence.

Calling something as ‘Islamic Terror’ is by itself incomplete and stupid.  What if some of them are ‘Sunnis’ and ‘Shias’? Shouldn’t we have studies of ‘Sunni Terror’ and ‘Shia Terror’?

Can our curiosity get quenched merely by saying ‘Hindu’ Terror? ’What about ‘Brahmin Terror’ and ‘Non-Brahmin terror’? These are intelligent questions raised by Shivaraj Patil and the whiz kids he was working with till this morning.

“We can fight terror only if know how many castes, sub castes, OBCs, non-OBCs etc are there itching to take up terror as a profession,” said an official of the HRD ministry who is working in tandem with home ministry and had offered to educate the Commandos, NSGs, ATS about the categories of terrorists available at any point of time. They need to know this before they learn to defuse a bomb or a grenade or jump off a helicopter.

We need to know the probability of ‘Vokkaliga Terror’ or ‘Lingayat Terror’ that could one day damage Vidhana Soudha, or the odds of ‘Babburkamme Terror’ one day setting fire to Basavanagudi temple.

Similarly could ‘Adi Dravidar Terror’ or ’Vishnu Terror’  gobble up Kanya Kumari temple?  Can you ignore the ‘Iyengars’ with their ‘Sankethi brand of terror’ and ‘Iyers’ with an equally ferocious brand of ‘Vadama’ brand?  ‘Reddy terror’ or ‘Kamma’ terror’ could one day take over the temple at Tirupati and cause mayhem. The possibilities are mind-blowing and bone-chilling.

Can our commandos drawn from different parts of country speaking different languages, yet, capable of fighting as one unit and ready to take on anybody, fight the multi-caste, multi sub-caste terrors spouted by our politicians?

Can our  NSGs and ATS who can fight nonstop terrorists for days at a stretch, fight  the venomous poisons injected by the politicians like the MNS, the vote mongers of the Congress, BJP, Mayawatis, Lalus, Karunanidhis, Jayalalithas and Mulayam Singhs?

That is what the common man wants to know.

Do you think our commandos, NSGs and anti terror Squads have any chance against so many terror sects sprouted by our politicians who have only one mantra which is to get votes at any cost even if it be at the cost our country? Even if it be at your cost?