E.R. RAMACHANDRAN writes: It’s a time to give; it’s time to hand over gifts to the important and not so important, for their contributions in the year gone by.

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To the foreign ministers of India and Pakistan: a pair of parrots

To Condoleezza Rice: A weighing balance

To Asif Ali Zardari: 10% of Best ‘Non- state Actor’ Cash Award

To Shivaraj Patil: A new, tighter bandh-gala

To Vilas Rao Deshmukh: A role in Ram Gopal Varma‘s film Mujhe Kya Hua?

To V.S. Achuthanandan: A dog’s role in an untitled Malayalam film

To Rahul Gandhi: Omar Abdullah’s new book ‘How I did it’

To Raj Thackeray: A taxi from the Bombay taxi drivers association

To George W. Bush: Shoes of all sizes from Iraqi children

To the government of B.S. Yediyurappa: A users’ guide to ‘How to keep your State No.1 in corruption?’

To Anitha Kumaraswamy: A guide on ‘How to manage husband, father-in-law and brother-in-law’

To the commuters on NICE road: A nice Tirupati haircut

To Ricky Ponting: A barrel to stare through

To 2008: A ‘Don’t ever come back’ card!

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