Why Snoop Doggy Dogg won’t play in Bangalore

shakira

ALOK PRASANNA, in Oxford (no less), forwards a list (slightly edited) of western band-names as they might appear if and, it’s a dodd-if, the Karnataka Rakshana Vedike (Narayana Gowda bana) or the Karnataka Rakshana Vedike (Praveen Shetty bana) or Sri Rama Sena or Bajrang Dal or other lunatics suddenly decided that they couldn’t play in Bangalore if they didn’t have a Kannada or Kannada sounding name.

***

ACDCCurrentu-Byattree
Aha: Oho
All Saints:  Yella Saadhugale
Audio Slave: Dhvani Ghulaama
BabyFace: MaguMakha
Back Street Boys: Hindina beedhi huduguru
Bad Boys Blue:  Neeli-poli baddimakkalu
Bad Company:  Kitthu hoda kharkane
Baker Street:  B.V.K. Iyengar beedhi
Bananarama: Devara baalehannu
Barenaked ladies: Nagnavaadhu Aunty-yaru
Billy Idol: Bekkina Vigraha
Black crowes: Kappu Kaagegalu
Black Sabbath: Kari sabbakki baathu
Blind Melon: Kurudu Kalangrihannu
Chemical Brothers: Rasayane sodharegalu
ColdPlay: ChaliAta
Collective Soul: Atma Chow Chow
Color me badd: Kettudaagi banna bali
Counting Crows: Enuso kaagigalu
Creed: Vichara
Culture Club: Samskaradha ispeet kendra
Cutting Crew: Hajam nann makkalu
Deep Blue Something: Aallla Neeli eno
Def Leppard: Kivdu chiruthe
Dire Straits: Sakkath ayomaya
Duran Duran: Maadu Ood-dha Maadu Ood-dha
Eagles: Garudagalu
Everything but the Girl: Figarr bittu doosara maath beda
Faith Hill: Nambike betta
Faster Pussycat: Vegada bekku
Fine Young Cannibals: Valle yuva nara-bakshakaru
FireHouse: Benkiya mane
Fools Garden: Huchura udhyanavana
FourPlay: Nalaku jana aadodhu
Garbage: Kachada
Gipsy Kings: Lambadi raja
Go West: Paschima hogi
GodSmack:  Devuru Kapala
Goo goo dolls:  Guggoo gombegalu
Grateful Dead: Aabhari sattavaru
Greenday: Hasuru Dhina
HoobaStank: Yarappa bittidhu?
INXS: Swalpa jaasthi aayithu
Iron Maiden: Kabna-dha Kanya
Journey: Prayana
Kansas: Krishnana maavainavaru
Linkin Park: Jodso Udyana
Little River Band: Chikka Nadhi Baaja
Lou bega: Ousara
Matchbox 20: Benkipatna ippathu
Maxi Priest: Langa-ony Poojari
Meat Loaf: Mamsada thundu
MegaDeth: Vishaala-saavu
Metallica: Kabna-nekkan-a?
Modern Talking: Aadunika maathu
Moody Blues: Neeli feelingu
Naughty by Nature: Modhlinda thunturu
NickelBack: Chillre vaapas
No Doubt: Anumanane illa, Siva
Noble Savages: Punyathma baddi makalu
Papa Roach: Jirle appa
Pearl Jam: Mutthina Gojju
Pet Shop Boys: Saakuva praani angadi huduguru
PM Dawn: Sandhye-ne Bellagge
Radio Head: Aakashvani thale
Rainbow: Indradhanusu
Red Hot Chilli Peppers: Bisi Bisi Byaadgi
Red Nex: Kempu Kathugalu
Roxette: Yella Thara Kallu
Rush: Bega
Salt N Pepa: Uppu Khara
Seal: Muchchu
Shaggy: JataksRaja
Simply Red: Sumne Kempu
six pence none the richer: aaru kaasu astay saaku
Smashing Pumpkins: Kumblekaigalu mataash
Smashmouth: Moothi vadee
Snoop Doggy Dogg: Thika-nai-mari
Soul Asylum: Atma ke Lodge
Spice Girls: Masale Hudugeeru
StarShip: Nakshatradha Dhoni
Stone Temple Pilots: Kallina devasthanada pushpaka chalakaru
Take That: Thogo Adhu
Tears For Fears: Bhayakke kaneeru
The Byrds: Pakshigalu
The Police: Hoysala
The Who: Yaaru
Third Eye Blind: Thirdu kannu kurudu
U2: Ninu kuda?
UB40: Yenne, small plus ondu thottu
Uncle Cracker: Vadiyo mama
Uriah Heep: Shagni kuppe
Weather Report: Havamana varadi
wet wet wet: vadday vadday vaddy
Yes: Howdu

Bands banned in Karnataka, Translation Problems

Jamiroquai
Jethro Tull
Antharax
Queensryche
Lynyrd Skynyrd
Creedence Cleawater Revival

Bands that have always been welcome (because the names already sound like kannada)

Beck: Cat
Nelly: Tap
Madonna: Shall we?

Disclaimer: In picture Shakira. Any resemblance between the picture and the text is entirely accidental and unintentional, and a shameless effort to draw attention by exploiting the non-Hindu female form.

Also read: Nimmoppan experiments with truth

Boosa, kuule, matash, woost: a short dictionary

Coming soon: Mission Impossible-3 in Kannada

Jinchaak: gaargeous like a baambshell