KANEKAL KUPPESHAPPA forwards a good one:
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick‘s Day. Mick, the bartender, finally says, “You’ll not be drinking any more tonight, Paddy.”
Paddy replies, “OK Mick, I’ll be on my way then.”
Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.
“Shoite,” he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face again, “Shoite, Shoite!”
He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he’ll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better, and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.
“Bi’Jesus…. I’m fockin ‘ focked,” he says.
He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and goes inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says, “No fockin’ way.” He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says. “I can make it to the bed.” He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says “Fock it” and falls into bed.
The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, “Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?”
Paddy says, “I did, Jess. I was fockin’ pissed. But how did you know?”
“Mick phoned… you left your wheelchair at the pub.”
*churumuri cannot guarantee that this joke will have the same effect on everyone
Also read: Funny joke from a balding journo-blogger