KANEKAL KUPPESHAPPA forwards a good one:
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Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick‘s Day. Mick, the bartender, finally says, “You’ll not be drinking any more tonight, Paddy.”
Paddy replies, “OK Mick, I’ll be on my way then.”
Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.
“Shoite,” he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face again, “Shoite, Shoite!”
He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he’ll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better, and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.
“Bi’Jesus…. I’m fockin ‘ focked,” he says.
He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and goes inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says, “No fockin’ way.” He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says. “I can make it to the bed.” He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says “Fock it” and falls into bed.
The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, “Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?”
Paddy says, “I did, Jess. I was fockin’ pissed. But how did you know?”
“Mick phoned… you left your wheelchair at the pub.”
*churumuri cannot guarantee that this joke will have the same effect on everyone
Also read: Funny joke from a balding journo-blogger
* Unfunny
Dont mind..but this joke sucks. I dont find it funny..thought its a bit rude and insensitive towards people with limited physical abilities.
@Andy
Even I dont find it funny..even I thought its a bit rude and insensitive towards people with limited control on their drinks :)
Here is a good one.
Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O’Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, “O’Brian, come ‘ere. I ‘ave a request for ye.” Shawn walked to his friend’s bedside and kneels.
“Shawny ole boy, we’ve been friends all our lives, and now I’m leaving ‘ere. I ‘ave one last request fir ye to do.”
O’Brian burst into tears, “Anything Patrick, anything ye wish. It’s done.”
“Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I’ll be able to enjoy it for all eternity.”
O’Brian was overcome by the beauty and in the true Irish spirit of his friend’s request, he asked, “Aye, tis a fine thing you ask of me, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?
This joke is a jibe at Barack Obama, who as everyone knows, is one-sixty fourth Irish :-) !!!
http://blogs.reuters.com/frontrow/2009/03/17/obama-tests-irish-roots-on-st-patricks-day/
You wouldn’t dare put a joke on the Iranians, right :-) ?!?!
Really insensitive joke. And it does seem to be a jibe at Obama for the same reason.
i think its very funny. its not offensive. i like it! so ha