Why 2009 elections was like Mahabharata redux

E.R. RAMACHANDRAN writes: Now that the election results are out and the dust has somewhat settled, analysts and psephologists who had got it all wrong with their analyses and predictions are standing upside down and scratching their heads to read the real meaning.

It isn’t different in our home either.

After Ajji does her daily puje to the Tulasi katte, it is her usual practice to sit quietly in the open yard while I read the morning newspapers. This is the moment when she usually chews on what she has seen on Udaya TV and read in Praja Vani the night before.

Ramu, this election just resembles Mahabharata in every respect,” she started.

I was surprised and taken aback by the comparison.

Ajji, I don’t know how you can compare this to Mahabharata… Although there was lot of shrill verbiage, they didn’t come down to fisticuffs. Even Naveen Chawla and N. Gopalaswami shook hands at the transfer of power in Election Commission. There was no mara-mari.”

Illa kano Ramu… I think this was a war between Pandavas and Kauravas. Pandavas had only five people and their mother Kunthi. Manmohan Singh, Chidambaram, Rahul Gandhi, Kapil Sibal and Kamal Nath shepherded by Sonia were all what they had. Krishna came on the scene, as always, at the right time.”

Has Ajji lost it, I wondered?

Has she entered the first lanes of Alzheimer‘s?

“Ha, ha! And who were on the side of the Kauravas?” I asked nonethelesss.

“There were hundreds of them I can’t remember them all. There was Advani like Bhishma, Murli Manohar Joshi as Kripacharya and Jaswant Singh as Drona. Jaitely, the upright Karna, was emotional as always. But their DuryodhanaVarun Gandhi—made a series of blunders. Azam Khan was their Dhusyasana making obscene remarks at Draupadi, Jaya Prada. Behenji Mayawati was their lone sister, Dhusyale. Kauravas paid the ultimate price for their ahankara, over-confidence and lack of unity.”

Ajji had mastered all the names in just two months as Lalit Modi probably had in South Africa for IPL-2.

Ajji, you have got Mahabharatha all mixed up, but ninna story sakatthagide. What will happen in the future?”

“Pandavas will not exactly roll around on a bed of roses. For one thing, they should not have made peace with Dhrutharashtra. His sons and daughters will always be greedy putting their family’s interest before that of the country’s.  No doubt, Krishna will protect Dharmaraya from external forces.  Arjuna and Kunthi, along with BhimaChidambaram, will protect Bharathavarsha from all internal strife. Still, there will be pinpricks from Dhrutharashtra every now and then.”

Ajji! I think you are making up your own Mahabharatha now! But it is beginning to make some sense. Any predictions?”

“After some time Arjuna will take over from Yudhistira who will take to vanavasa. He will also groom AbhimanyuSachin Pilot—his trusted lieutenant, to take up some responsible position.”

“What will happen to Krishna?”

Ayyo, Krishna will ensure there is no trouble to Manamohana Rajya from our neighbours. But ultimately due to Yadavi kalaha in his home-State he will be ousted. His own people will prove to be his nemesis.”

“What will happen to Dhruthrashtra?”

“When Arjuna takes over, he will have a bigger headache as Dhrutharashtra’s great-great-grand childern, children of each of the present ministers and their wives (and husbands), will demand their pound of flesh, i.e. cabinet posts which will number more than 20. Kauravas would have also strengthened their positions through treaties with lesser known chieftains and ruffians. Without Krishna, external forces would also be emboldened to have a go at Pandavas. India will thus face threats both internal and external.”

Ajji was narrating the story like Alfred Hitchcock; rather like Nostradamus. The suspense was killing me.

“What will happen after that, Ajji? Tell me.”

“I don’t know. Thank god! I won’t be there to witness all that,” concluded Ajji.