With soldiers like Mutalik, God save His Holiness

“Indians have the rare genius to turn everything into an item of trade. Who else has turned God into such profitable commerce? We discovered early that this line of business required the least investment. And the returns are huge,” a churumuri columnist wrote recently.

Tehelka magazine’s sting operation on the soldiers of fortune of the Sri Rama Sene—in conjunction with the television station Headlines Today—in which Pramod Mutalik‘s pink cheddis do not quite smell of roses, underlines the point eloquently. Nothing, it seems, comes free in a market economy; not even a nice little riot.

Or, perhaps, even a pub attack?

Tehelka: I’ll take leave sir, what I want is to gain popularity and if I get popularity my business will improve. If you say then I…just tell me a time limit… these many boys will be there…this much for advo…meaning that of lawyers…we will not even complain… because that is our understanding… but sir, it is that whatever you say that amount of advance I will leave with you, then I say to you that now it has all come to you, and sir now do the job…

Pramod Mutalik: Can do it in Mangalore, Bangalore…

Tehelka: I can get more popularity in the Shivaji Nagar area of Bangalore… because that whole area is theirs…the Muslims. If you give one statement in the press and 10 of your workers reach there…we will shut it down…what is it to us? But at least we will get popularity.

Pramod Mutalik: Yes, that can be done…

Tehelka: So sir, just tell me straight up…or tell me to come after two or four days…. tell me for certain that ‘This is my expense… you do this much…’ so sir, I’ll complete it and plan it all out…

Pramod Mutalik: What I’m telling you, our president there…

Tehelka: …of Bangalore?

Pramod Mutalik: Of Bangalore…he is also very strong…on speaking to him…all three of us—you, me and him—will sit and plan out what is to be done…then we will do it…definitely do it.”

Cartoon: courtesy Prasad Radhakrishnan/ Mail Today

Read the full story: Rent a riot: cash for chaos

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Also read: How girls pissing in their pants protect Hinduism

How Karnataka is becoming the Gujarat of the south

Giving Lord Rama a good name 24x7x365

Can these venomous buffoons spell Bhartiyata?