A secular sex joke familiar to those who Kannada comes in the former of a question and answer, a format known to and used by most godmen (and women) to proffer wisdom.

Question: “What happens when a monk has sex with a nun?”

Answer: “A manknanmaga is born.”

Manknanmaga is a word-play on monk and nun, and the portmanteau is short form for a dullard, a dunderhead.

Jokes apart, the sexual lust of India’s godmen is legendary. Baba Ram Rahim is only the latest case, but there have been dozens before, not to forget Asaram Bapu, Swami Nityananda, the Sai Baba of Puttaparthi…

Stories about sexual deviance in ashrams, convents and monasteries are legion, and one of them even wrote a book. Men, women, underage boys, girls, orgies, nothing is beyond the script—caste, creed, community, clan no bar.

The Gurmeet Singh case, lurid as it is, prompts The Telegraph to go to Sudhakar Krishnamurthi, a Hyderabad-based “sexologist”, who says if you have a high libido, you don’t have to do anything: just become a “sadhu” and you are done for your life.

His other killer lines:

# All of them want a delayed ejaculation; they want to know the techniques for sustained ejaculation.

# Some of them also want to know how to get an erection soon after ejaculation. Often, they want to know how to increase their chances of incredibly intense orgasms.

# A lot of them read and watch pornography and they think that it’s natural to have sex with 15 women at the same time just like it’s shown in blue films.

# Not all women are sexually abused by the “sadhus”. There are also women who go to them secretly because they don’t have an active sex life at home. Consensual sex is common.

# These godmen are the biggest transmitters of venereal diseases. Their idea is that if they have sex with virgins, their venereal diseases will get cured; certainly that doesn’t happen. But in the process, they end up transmitting diseases to many others.

# Some desire a longer or thicker penis to either lift sagging self-esteem or to satisfy their sexual partners’ unrealistic expectations.

# For people like “sadhus” who are promiscuous, it’s quite natural to take Viagra. They use vibrators for stimulation too.

Read the full interview: ‘Most godmen abuse their position to get sex’

Also read: Another good swami in the service of mankind