It’s the holy month of Ramzan. Still, a key question must be asked: what the fuck is wrong with Saif and Kareena?

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It is the holy month of Ramzan and one must be doubly considerate of the feelings of adherents in these politically polarised times.

Still, a good Hindu mustn’t squirm from asking his brethren and sistren: what the fuck is the problem with Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor?

Not them, per se, but what they are doing to their little toddler, Taimur Ali Khan.

Are they attention-challenged?

Are they sick?

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Barely a week goes by, without the toddler’s actions and antics hitting the headlines for this or that trivial pursuit.

One day it is what he is verbalising, another day it is what he is wearing, yet another day it is how he is dancing.

Given the quantum of coverage, mostly on websites, it is easy to forget that the chote fucking nawab is but 17 months old.

Id est, about 500 days old.

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Maybe, in the mecca of meritocracy that is Bollywood, it is good to start off early, so all this publicity must be doing good for Taimur’s debut movie.

Maybe, in the world of tiger moms and wimpy papas, Kareena and Saif are making sure their little tyke distinguishes himself from other competing bastards.

Maybe, this is the zeitgeist in #NewIndia: all publicity is good publicity even before a child is properly trained to sit on the potty.

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But a Twitter account?

An Instagram account?

And an “official team” for his public persona, for which SAK and KK are paying?

In a less star-struck country than ours, concerned friends and neighbours would be reporting father and mother to the authorities.

The media would be asking questions. Here, on the other hand, we are eating off the soft and tender hands of a baby which can’t speak.

And doesn’t know the horrors his sad parents are exposing him to.

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