Two legs forward, two legs afterward

ROHIT K.G. writes from Dubai: I’m sure you’ve all read the emails on the two-cow economic system, where cows and milk production is managed according to the economic policies of different nations.

Here’s one for the Gulf and other countries in the region.

DUBAI SYSTEM: You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a Cow City or Milk Town for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shady investors who hope to resale the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract attention.

QATAR SYSTEM: You have two cows. They’ve been sitting there for decades and no one realizes that cows can produce milk. You see what Dubai is going; you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows’ boobs in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.

SAUDI SYSTEM: Since milking the cow involves nipples the government decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow in on one side of the curtain and the guy milking the cow on the other or to hire females and train to milk the cows … the debate is still going on.

BAHRAIN SYSTEM: You have two cows. Some high government official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The government tells you there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the govt and carry Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 months, decides to employ ten Bahrainis to all milk the cow at the same time so cut back on unemployment.

OMAN SYSTEM: Do we really care ?

KUWAIT SYSTEM: You have two cows, one is gay the other is a fanatic! All the cows in the world hate these two cows, and these two cows hate the world.

LEBANON SYSTEM: You have two cows. One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled by the government.

YEMEN SYSTEM: Both don’t function since they are drugged up on “gat” 24/7.